Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize