And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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