I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
