Your tits are I can't wait for
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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