why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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