If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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