I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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