I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
