Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
