and she was petting her beer can
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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