He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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