My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
