Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
