i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
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