i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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