i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
