This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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