So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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