the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
