just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
