Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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