How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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