She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize