Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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