Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hippo gnu deer
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
