OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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