Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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