its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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