Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
