Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
