Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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