FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize