i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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