last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
