dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
