Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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