i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
