Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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