Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
