youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize