At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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