I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize