Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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