We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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