So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
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It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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