I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
