But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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