I'm really into asian looking animals
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
