We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
