tell your sister to shave her snatch
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
