okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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