In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
