What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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