Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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