Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
