Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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