He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
