this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm sobbing to NWA
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
