That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
