He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
