I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
